TOUCH: Two Sides to Every Story: Women Views on Sex, Relationships and Dating

6 May


Two Sides to Every Story: Women Views on Sex, Relationships and Dating

With the new film that just released, “Think Like a Man” it is only appropriate that we discuss the juicy topics of relationships, sex and dating. The film was based on of Steve Harvey’s Act like a Lady, Think like a Man that details a man’s thoughts on sex, relationships and commitment. Women for years have struggled to understand why a man behaves the way he does and how we can get a man to be committed to us and to stay in love forever. The women who have read Steve Harvey’s book found it very insightful and believed that it definitely opened their minds up to why men act the way they do.

Now the question is, why do women act the way we do? Admit it fellas, you have had that crazy female that you dated or that woman who turned out to be psycho once you both broke up and you sat around telling your friends “ She is crazy” and “Why is she acting like this?” one word, love or at least “in love” with the idea of being in love. I know it’s crazy, but if you haven’t realized, one thing about us women we are emotional beings, and that’s what makes us so caring, loving and fit to be great mothers.

Well to switch the tables and take the men through the mind of a woman, when it comes to dating, sex and relationships, in this article I want to get nasty; NO, not that kind, but I do want to get into the juicy details of how many woman view dating and relationships these days.

Let us claim one truth, no matter a woman’s status or how independent she may claim to be, at her core she wants a companion by her side that will love her. We all long for that connection no matter the age, from 16 to 65.  Times have changed though, and how our grandparents grew up “courting” one another and waiting until marriage before sex, well that’s just not happening these days. The goodies are being given away like free candy from the Ice Cream Man; it’s no longer sacred but rather a hobby. With that being said, what truly separates the differences between relationships and dating?  And which one is preferred amongst women? I spoke with 5 different women to find out their views on dating, relationships and sex, their responses are below:

Participant 1:  “I am too focused on my career to be dating honestly. I like to meet new people and if I enjoy their company I’ll go out occasionally, but a relationship is something that I’m not looking for at this time. Besides the saying goes ‘Once you stop looking is when you find someone’. I want someone there though you know?; I like to be cared for and to also give that attention. If I’m dating someone and I see it’s heading towards a relationship than sex is an option. We all have needs! But there’s nothing better than sex and being in love, but that’s not where I’m at right now. “(Age 25, College Graduate: “Career Woman”)

Participant 2:  “I used to date so I could get to know guys and have fun with them, if we got along. If I wanted to have sex with him I did.  Now I refuse to date now because every time I meet a guy they ask why I’m so closed off, and the second I open up, they mess up. So now I just do me!” (Age 26, College Graduate: “Party Girl”)

Participant 3: “Dating to me only has one purpose. Everyone is hoping to one day be with someone who is their best friend and eventually their husband that’s the way things should be.” (Age 24, Single Mother: “Church Woman”)

Participant 4: “When I dated, I wanted a relationship, a long relationship, to me that’s the reason for dating. I wanted to wait to have sex because if you give up the cookie too quick that usually kills the respect a man has for you. And almost all men like a challenge with their women, so in my case I gave up the cookie way too quick. The longer you wait to give it up the more they want and respect you, but if you wait too long they give up on you and get kind of mad about it.” (Age 25, Married: “Stay at Home Mother”)

Participant 5: “My purpose for dating at my age is to find a lifelong partner. I don’t date much, so I am very picky with whom I chose to date, for I have made many mistakes and wrong choices in men. Relationships today seem so superficial. No one is looking for that person who they will spend the rest of their life with. I believe most relationships begin with the end of their relationship in mind. Whether it’s dating or marriage, there is always an “escape” clause. I am definitely a relationship woman. Dating is too much work and I don’t have time for it anymore. Sex in dating I’m so over it. I refuse to just sleep with someone I’m just “dating”. I don’t feel it is a requirement. I actually feel like “who are you to ask me for my treasure?” What will I get in return?”  (Age 35, Single Mother)

What we can gather from the information presented is that how a woman views dating is dependent on her current situation and what she has been through in dating and relationships. When a woman is fresh from a breakup there are normally 3 ways she goes about dating. One, she’s either hurt and angry with men so she develops a “all men are dogs” attitude which is classified by only dating men she can get something out of but never letting her guard down. Two, you have the “needy” woman who tries to find another man to occupy her time, usually the woman who jumps from one relationship to the next. And three, the woman who is self-aware and steps back from dating to get herself together. Although, the first two may sound crazy, there is a method to the madness. Dating after a breakup puts you back out there around those who admire you and want to be around you, helping you to move on from your past relationship. I hope that this article was able to open your mind up to the different type of women and different views on dating, sex and relationships.

Now I ask you this, where you are in your life which one do you prefer, dating or a relationship and why?

Written By: Danielle White


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