I Ain’t Sayin’ She a Gold-digger…
“She take my money, well I’m in need/Yeah she’s a triflin’ friend indeed/Oh she’s a gold digger way over time /that digs on me”
Sound familiar? We have all heard this song from the notorious Kanye “Yeezy Taught Me” West; this song’s infamous for pointing out women who seek one thing from men, money. Although this song may be offensive to some, yet everyone two-steps when it comes on in the club…why? Because it has valid point to it! It’s no secret that men seek out beauty in a woman and women seek out security in men, that has been the age long practice since, well the Stone Age. Why do you think we see nothing but beautiful women in music videos and men trying to make it rain in the clubs? Trust me, they aren’t doing that to make the men excited.
Unfortunately, when it comes to attracting the opposite sex some women have become so cliché at valuing what has been depicted in media. If you have ever watched the Vh1 reality TV show “What Chilli Wants” you know this is a woman who has a laundry list of criteria can leave her single at the age of 40. It’s a good idea to know what you are looking for in your partner, but not being flexible can be detrimental to your love life. Women often believe that we know exactly what we are looking for in our partner, and most qualities turn out to be superficial. Tall, dark, handsome, oh and a big…bank account. Little do we realize that same list is really doing more harm than help.
Many women, and men, have it all wrong when it comes to finding a partner, they‘re searching for all the wrong things; and wonder why they have issues with the people they’ve dated, but I digress. Since grade school we have always been told to write out the list of the things we wish to accomplish or the things that we want and that somehow has translated into how we find a partner. I will admit, I even had a list of qualities that I wanted in a man and I rated each man on a point system based on what I was looking for. How’d that turn out you ask? Well that list has been thrown out.
Women should seek out men who are not so concerned with what women are looking for and more focused on bettering themselves. Women like to see a man working hard and confident in whom he is and what he has to offer. Trying to fit someone else’s criteria just looks weak. When I am asked what I look for in a man, it pretty much boils down to the basics, I keep it simple and sweet. To no surprise however, many woman look for the same things. When taking a poll about what qualities women look for in man, the following are the most repeated:
2. Funny/Sense of Humor
3. Family Oriented
When trying to determine what you want out of a partner, narrow your list down to the top 5 traits you believe are important qualities to have and also the 5 deal breakers that you will not settle for. This gives you the flexibility to meet someone who may not fit into your 21 question criteria, but it also clarifies what you won’t settle for. Too often someone may desperately want to fit your standards and may change who they are to accommodate that. The end results are never good, no one can change who they are especially if it is done with the motivation to please another.
When you search for superficial qualities in the opposite sex you end up having a superficial relationship. Forget the money, cars, the hot bodies, and cute faces and look for what really matters. But let’s be real, at the end of the day women are attracted to a man who is financially secure and independent and men well, they pay attention only to the women who could potentially give them good looking children.
By: Danielle White